My Struggle to Trust God

Do you ever wonder if God is everything He claims to be?

The great struggle in my life has been trusting God, which is not on the Christian community's list of tolerated sins. Questioning God is ungracious. I have sung “Trust and Obey” with gusto, but when I get away from the crowd, lay aside my Sunday School answers and drop my religious façade, and look at my relationship with God, I must admit my resistance to trusting him.

Ultimately, I confessed my distrust to God, which was emotionally liberating in that it got the issue onto the table for discussion. Some months after I placed my distrust before God, I was answering questions following a lecture at Nashville's Brentwood Academy. I have no recollection of the question, but in order to make my point I turned to the whiteboard and wrote, “You will never learn to trust God until your faith has been challenged.”

"You will never learn to trust God until your faith has been challenged."

As the dry-erase marker squeaked along, I realized God was addressing my distrust. As the words of the whiteboard burned into my mind, I saw the meaning in my struggle for trust. I sensed God chipping away at the distance between us.

The enemy accuses God before me whenever circumstances provide the opportunity. It seems Satan has a one-track mind: “How can I make God look bad in this situation?” As he rants and raves, it appears as though God is less than He claims to be. My confidence in God'faith'appears to be without foundation. But this is the arena where trust thrives and spars with the deceiver. In this tempest, trust declares confidence in Father even though it appears as though He has abandoned ship.